The Best Green Beans

Hey fellow werewolves!

I’m sure you’re wondering how to get more veggies in your diet that don’t taste like dirt. Even wolves don’t like dirt. Okay, some of us do…But they have problems.

Today, I’ll be showing you how to make the best green beans you’ve ever eaten. My human housemate likes these, and she refuses to eat anything green.


1 1/2 pound washed fresh green beans with the nasty bits cut off. You can halve them if it makes you feel better.
1/2 pound bacon
Butter, lots of it, I’m not kidding. Like three tablespoons!
1/2 cup Diced onions
3 cloves crushed/diced garlic

First, get yourself some water boiling. You’re going to be getting your green beans cooked a little, just to make them nice and loose. Salt the water, this makes it better, I’m not sure if this is just kitchen witchery, but it’s worth the couple of pinches of salt for it. When the water is actually boiling, dump your green beans in.

In the mean time, cut the bacon strips into about one inch cubes. I tend to use these amazing Non-stick pans a Packmate gave me, yes you, rustdog, so I don’t worry about putting the bacon in the pan. I then make bacon. Lots of it. A half pound of bacon. You’ll be disappointed with how little bacon this actually makes, so if it’s near the full moon, and you’re just feeling like you need more meat in your veggies, go ahead and do a pound of bacon.

While your bacon is frying, your green beans should be a bright green color now. Green like a cat’s eyes. Bright green. When they are, take them off of the stove and strain them. Put them back into the pot, and pour cold water over them. This is to stop them from cooking any further. Now that they’re cold, shake them out in a colander again.

Go back to the bacon, take all the bacon pieces out of the bacon and put them aside on a plate. I like to put them on one of those nicely folded napkins so they can get grease all over the napkin and not my plate.

Now, while the grease is still hot…put the beans in the grease. They will sizzle, and they may spatter. You may be a little hurt by this. Come on, you’re supposed to be a werewolf, shift to your crinos form if you have to, but put the beans in the bacon grease. Fry the beans up. No, really.

Now, remember that slab of butter? Probably three or four teaspoons of it. Throw that in. That diced garlic? Put that in there too. Do you have a tube of lemongrass (If you know what I mean, then you’ve probably got it) squeeze some of that in there as well. Make sure the beans are frying evenly in the grease and butter and garlic and delicious.

When all of your beans are limp, take that bacon you took out of the grease and throw it back in. Yep. Do this thing. Add meat to your veggies.

Serve this dripping mess hot. Preferably beside a steak.

The beans are salty, squeaky, and delicious. The bacon works well, so you’ll want to be sure to use a GOOD bacon. Even our lives are too short for shitty bacon.

Let me know what you think. Also, if there’s any food you would like me to run past my Pack, let me know, I’ll be sure to do so.

Until next time, good hunting.

Category(s): Recipe
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5 comments on “The Best Green Beans

  1. Peter Stumpp on said:

    Looking for your daily dose of saturated fat, high cholesterol, and diabetes? Get all three in one with this wondrous recipe, because healthy foods don’t really need to be healthy, do they?

    • Ghost on said:

      Hey friend!

      It seems that you’ve only read the recipe, rather than the rest of the thoughts behind it. I would highly recommend that you look into the Primal Blueprint.

      Then you too can enjoy these fantastic green beans with more information as to what causes diabetes, more information about cholesterol, and the role of saturated fat in a person’s body!


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